God's PushI have not written in this bog for awhile. God's push to get my story out is waning as is Gary's push to inform me of my past! This sense of calm and acceptance can also be attributed to the medication I am on. I am currently on 2 m.g. of Rexulti and 10 m.g. of Olanzapine! This combination of drugs has me content sitting on the couch. No longer is my brain fighting my body about exercising. I am told that these drugs are not anti psychotics. Gary owns all the pharmaceutical industries and has me involved in two drug trials. One is to see if I can lose weight and be fit without exercise. The other is a pill to stop me from getting colds! For the first time in a decade I had a cold last year. Gary says they pulled me off the medication at that time and subsequently put me back on. Gary is bringing charges against all my psychiatrists and intercepts my prescriptions! He informs me that my psychiatrist has to abide by my wishes in tapering me off all medication! My psychiatrist has refused! I will be asking him again at the end of the month in our next phone conference! He also dismissed my request for help in dealing with repressed memories! By reading back in my journal it was revealed to me that my father Ted Bundy raped me as a baby under a year old and as a toddler! Gary says he and I were gagged! He witnessed this atrocity and my kidnapping! This confuses me for I am told my father Ted Bundy was a woman before he kidnapped me! Gary says he raped me after his sex change!! In an earlier entry there is an error saying that George was able to make an erection. He had his sex change at the same time as his dad Ted Bundy. George the whole time I knew him he was unable to make an erection even when I had his penis in my mouth! These conversations surrounding sex are needed in school so everyone is educated. Most parents do not go into detail. Had I been educated this mess with George never would have happened! He is a homosexual transman!! True or not I am told there is no erectile dysfunction! I could dwell on the past but Gary has given me a taste of my future and I grip onto that to keep me stable!! I have no idea when Gary will appear to me but I am praying it is this month! To experience another Christmas without him would be crushing!! I am promised we are officially getting married this month! Brent proposed to Jolene! He is a very nice guy but I am told he murdered the real Brent! Jolene will get full custody of their daughter Sandy! I am to spend Christmas at Deanne's, who is really Poppy, who I unknowingly raised as Deanne! Her partner, Ryan (book name Royce) also murdered the original Ryan. He is also a mafia boss! This makes my going there very difficult! Both girls are FBI agents!! I am also promised that this Christmas will be spent at Gary at our home in White Rock! I have never been there and desperately want this to come true!! My Christmas wish this year is for Gary, the real Gary to come into my life in a very real way in 2023!!
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I have learned that I only gave birth to one daughter and that was Poppy conceived in Memphis and thought I terminated under doctor advice. I raised Poppy as Deanne! I gave birth to several sons. Robbie Williams, Shane Filan, George Michael, Prince William, and Prince Harry! The girls I brought home from the hospital and named Deanne and Jolene were Kelly Clarkson and Katy Perry. George sold them on the black market after Jolene screamed because she could not get dry enough in the middle of the night. It is affirmed George raped Jolene (Katy). The most gut wrenching decision I had to make recently was how to respond to my nephews wedding invitation. He and Kristen are to be married in Toronto in October. I finally responded saying I could not attend without Gary. Being educated that the family that I grew up with are facing the death penalty is overwhelming. Learning that my brother-in-law, Glen, murdered a man and assumed his identity was shocking! He is also responsible for murdering my sister, Louise, and my niece, Denise. The current Denise is a con artist and helped murder them as well! Unbeknownst to them they are alive and are in protective custody. Gary has been intercepting my prescriptions from my psychiatrist to the pharmacist. He has me on a diet pill and contraceptives. Apparently all the psychiatrists I have had work for the FBI! At the same time I am told I am the trigger for abolishing psychiatry and the dispensing of medication for which they get paid for every prescription written! Officially I am on 12,5 Olanzapine and 2 mg Rexulti. Unofficially I am on as described above and Gary has the prescription tweaked with every monthly refill!! The current dosage has made positive impacts on my life. I am motivated to do Workouts at home from a YouTube Walk at Home program by Leslie Sansone. I do one or two 15 minute workouts a day. The dream is to train with Gary in our own private pool but I do not have Gary yet and there is no private pool so I contacted the recreation centre to see if I could use my remaining 5 personal training sessions in the pool. Unfortunately they do not have anyone qualified to do that so I opted for stroke improvement. The lady in charge is going to set it up and get back to me. This is a remarkable step forward for me!! That being said though, I am told that Gary will be with me before any stroke improvement starts! We will see!
I have learned by reading back in my present journal that my dad also was a transman and and his son made the transition soon after I was kidnapped. They did this to avoid the law. All the George's were Georgia's for they were all transman. If you have forgotten what they means it is where a female becomes male. Because they were all female the babies I bore had to be female for they would only have the X chromosome. Google whom I believe is Gary answering my searches says that this is true! By reading back I discovered that it was discovered that Poppy had Thalidomide in her system. I did not have nausea but the doctor did not prescribe this. George was drugging me. I was being drugged from the moment I got married and my parents knew. Later I was being drugged with Fentanyl. While being married my psychiatrist kept sending me for bloodwork where they discovered I was still being drugged. George thought it was an undetectable drug. Even while nursing my babies were being drugged which explains why they were always sick! I found out that I was right about the hidden fuse panel in the Garfield house that I found above the false ceiling. It was used to manufacture drugs! It was connected to the house next door that I had told the Mayor about. She sent a private detective but I did not show him the fuse panel because I do not think I had found it yet. I learned George was manufacturing Fentanyl and Heroine in the house next door. I was concerned with what I found and showed George but he dismissed it. There was also an empty cigarette package above the ceiling which I showed him and he said to keep it there. I thought that was very odd but I did not press the issue. It was this discovery that rattled George and was the reason for his having a real estate agent to come over to sell the house without telling me. He said we could not afford the house because I was on disability but the real reason according to my journal is that he was afraid I would learned about his illegal activity. George is into selling drugs for firearms. He is responsible for the mass murders happening in the States at local schools!! George was having babies with me to traffic them. He knew I was the queen of Great Britain and could fetch more money! It was Dolly Parton who is an FBI agent and Gary Barlow who posed as buyers that saved my children without knowing I was the missing queen. It was only discovered a few years ago that I was missing queen through my DNA that was taken by a pharmacist under the guise of finding a drug that would serve me best. Speaking of drugs. I was used to help discover an antidote for Fentanyl. It was because of me that they did. By helping me we helped others! I know I said before that Gary was not George A, the man whom I was to meet but never did, but I now believe he is George A! I learned that George#2, Poppy's father impersonates Gary Barlow and wants to be the hero, but I do not want that for he offered no affection. He is a criminal. The real Gary Barlow is coming for me!!
Every mother will know my pain to some extent. I have learned I gave birth to seven children. The way the room was set up and the whole situation makes this plausible but all I was given at each birth was one daughter, Deanne was given to me in 1988 and Jolene in 1990. These girls were other mothers daughters. The authorities took my real babies and they live in the USA. The girls I brought home George murdered. He murdered other mothers daughters! He switched the babies and I raised other mothers daughters and it was these girls whom George sexually molested!! He knew I was the Queen of the UK and wanted to eliminate the line. I am led to believe my parents helped, George after all was my dad's daughter!! I married a woman, a transgender! I had no clue other than he could make an erection!! I lived and had sex with at least four men claiming and acting as my husband. I knew over time something was up for little differences appeared. You have no idea what it is like to live with men you were certain not the man you met. Each of my children had different fathers! To learn that these men also were responsible for cryptocurrency fraud in addition to everything else I have written explains why it is taking so long for justice for my children, myself and Gary. Speaking of Gary I have learned that he is my lawyer and we have fallen in love with each other!!
Thank you seems like such a small word for how I feel but there is no synonym for it! Where do I begin? There are so many people and organizations working in the background! In no special order I have Gary, my girls, Sir Paul McCartney, and the Catholic Church to thank. As well all the major authorities, FBI, CSIS, CIA and Interpol are working together on this clandestine case I am engulfed in. The Navy and the army are helping. I am getting help from the trucking industry and the entertainment industry!! The music has given me the strength to hold on and grip on to the hope of the future! The romance movies as well as the medication opened my eyes to what was wrong with my marriage! I thank everyone, especially my girls, my health team and my friends for pulling me out of my quagmire!!
I read on Google that sometimes you have to move backward to move forward. I am definitely doing that mentally in a very profound way. I also think it means that I am moving back to Ontario and that my son Shane who is a member of the boyband Westlife and all my children will be relocating to the same neighbourhood as Gary and me. I am not sure whether I have written in this blog how impressive God's pull is. I am told my birth parents were murdered in the house that my dad assumed as his own after he murdered them! Essentially, I grew up in the house my true parents were murdered in. As a child I was the only one enamoured with the house and strived to beautify it with flowers. My father cut the grass to likely keep appearances up but did precious little to upkeep the house. Back then windows had ropes that raised them and ours were all broken and never fixed or the windows replaced. He only had the floors sanded in the living room. I believe it was to rid the floor of blood stains and Google whom I believe is Gary, says this is true! My point is, God instilled this innate overwhelming attachment to the house because of the parents I never knew! I have been educated that my parents growing up were not my own but I was happier then then all my years here. My happiest times of course were with my girls but even then I was not the mother that they deserved for I have had to wear this mental health crown for much of their lives! I ache for my high school years when I had many friends! George robbed me of making friends and caused me to be his puppet. However, incompetent as I was with the medication he copied me on everything! I started Yoga then he joined and started doing it daily at home! I was trying to get away from him! If I had been alone I would have made friends. He destroyed my enjoying it and quit. I wanted to start drawing and painting, then he bought paints for himself which he never used. I ache to do these things with a man that loves me and is not out to "up" me! I wore the pants! I want desperately for my girls to know that! He is a con dad!!
Faith! What exactly is faith? To me it means believing in the unknown and believing it will all turn out ok. I had faith that for twenty years Jolene would come back to me even though she was never far away. Never a happy mother's day or happy birthday yet I knew there was a bigger reason for her distance. I never gave up on her and now look she is such a gentle and vibrant force in my life now! I did not want to talk about today until it happened for fear of jinxing it but as it turns out there was no jinxing it! I firmly believed by Google that Gary was going to drive me to the birthday party I was going to. I used such words as definitely and honestly and it responded in kind which deepened my belief but I was let down, he never came! I was sitting at home all day on the edge. Now this is where my faith is tested. I believe there is good reason I was led to believe and yet was hurt by this belief. I went to this birthday party and did my best to mingle and pretend everything was fine with me where it was not. This kind of behaviour and dual role I am playing makes me believe that my third father could easily disguise his being a serial killer. I so desperately want to be rid of this dual role!! I have learned the man who raised me murdered John F. Kennedy, Winston Churchill and Martin Luther King. He was also Charles Manson's right hand man. Both he and George were behind the 911 bombings!! I am under the impression that the trials of which I am a part are to begin Monday. Time will tell if that is true!! I have waited for two decades for justice and Gary has waited three decades!! I am told that my principal Marian and a coworker's husband Jeremy sought help for me. I feel the Catholic Church a part of my spine helping me to stand straight and to not fear, they have my back!!
June 11 came and went and I did not get married. I feel silly and embarrassed that I posted a date. I should have known better. When Gary comes is to remain top secret! He also needs time to properly propose to me. I have never had a proper proposal and yearn for one! I am the prime witness in several mafia trial cases that have spanned decades! George is an axe murderer and the most wanted criminal in the world!! Google wants me to believe I am the missing and kidnapped Queen of the United Kingdom and that Gary Barlow is not George A. It was not arranged that we would meet, however he was targeted and left for dead because he was on the case looking for me! Sir Paul McCartney is my legal and biological father and Linda McCartney is my biological mother. She and Sir Paul's double were murdered in my childhood home. Paul's double was visiting while my true dad was out of town and he and Linda were murdered by Ted Bundy thinking he was the real Paul McCartney. Now Google has it that Paul McCartney's double had an affair with Linda, which I have no reason to dispute. My true parents owned my childhood home and cottage, which Ted Bundy, my second dad assumed after murdering them. Paul McCartney has made it possible for the properties to be mine. Isn't it mind boggling that I should feel such an innate feeling toward these properties as an adult. It is as if God planted this feeling in me to somehow draw me to them.
Google has me believing that my dreams are to be realized this summer. My institute should be in full swing this September!! I am to be married June 11, 2022! This means the Church has revolutionized and God is pleased. My dream of marrying in a cathedral will happen!! I will finally be with Gary Barlow!! I can taste my future and it makes living in the present more challenging, so much so, my body is aching! For six months now my upper back and neck have been aching at night. My neck continues to hurt during the day. I had to go for X-rays and my doctor made an in office visit for June 8. Today is May 28, 2022. The office phoned and she wants to speak with me Monday May 30 to discuss the results. Today is Saturday. The fact that she is not waiting to go over it implies there really is something wrong. Google says I definitely have spinal tumors!! About a month ago my psychiatrist upped one of medications to help with my nerves. I am on 17.5 mg Olanzapine and 1.5 mg of Rexulti. My nerves are better and I am not Googling or writing as much. This saddens me. The medication causes memory loss and if I do not record something I forget it. I am unable to retain important information. I also am unable to express joy. I have no problem expressing sorrow. I am led to believe my dream of a log home is being realized. I believe it to be in Bracebridge on the lake. It has always been my happy place! I believe this and perhaps my home that I remember growing up are in our future. I am not sure about my childhood home. I have learned two scenarios regarding that home. One has my biological parents murdered there by my dad, Ted Bundy, and that is how he acquired the home. Another scenario has Sir Paul McCartney's parents murdered there. Thinking back my dad's actions were peculiar. He never did anything to better the house. Most windows in the house had broken ropes and he never had them fixed. He only changed the furnace and had the floors in the living room sanded down but covered most of it with a rug. My mind now thinks that perhaps he was trying to cover blood stains!
Should you ever have the gut feeling that your child is being sexually molested by your spouse but are unsure do not rely on them to find reputable counsellors. My daughter, Jolene, at four years of age woke me up while she was sitting on the toilet with a blood curdling scream. I went to her and she could not get herself dry enough. I thought at that moment she had been molested and I feared it was with my husband for sex with him was messy he was never able to get it up!! Since I was the bread winner and teaching I asked him to get a counsellor for her. I had no proof. She had been to a friends that day and I thought something could have happened there. My gut though said no. George found a counsellor and she said Jolene had not been molested when I asked her to look into it. She did say the other symptoms she was displaying of obsessive compulsive behaviour were a result of George's need for preciseness! The warning comes because I have learned that the counsellor was in cahoots with George and was dishonest!! My girls tell me now I did not fail them but I did. I married a monster and immersed us into an illegal quagmire. My character is flawed. I trust. Someone opened my eyes and said perhaps one trusts and it can easily be broken but maybe my first definition takes precedence in that trust is earned! If my initial belief is true my nature is flawed! Tonight I thought back to when my girls were in kindergarten and the teacher had the students create paper hugs for someone special. As each daughter went through that grade neither one dedicated it to me. I was crushed. I thought to ask tonight if my girls were being sexually molested during kindergarten while they stayed half the day at home with their dad just like preschool. I was the breadwinner and teaching. Google to my chagrin says YES!! Jolene was 4 years old when I became alerted to this in 1994. It was not until six years later when Deanne collapsed in our hallway at 3:00 am. She had just come from the bathroom. I asked George to call 911 and he refused. He chose to take the sheets off our bed and the towels out of the bathroom and do the laundry instead. I was shocked and phoned 911 myself. It was at that point my mother instincts kicked in and my trust and respect of him deteriorated. I have learned that they found illegal drugs in Deanne's system! I have learned that she also was a victim of sexual abuse by her dad. In fact, my granddaughter Cassie is really George's daughter with Deanne. The shocker is that he does not know and will find out in court!!
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Megan Jackson HallI have battled with being led to believe I was Schizoaffective for over two decades. I was the scapegoat for a deep covert operation involving the Mafia and Romance Fraud. Music has been my saviour! I am the author of My Colour-Coded Life: Living with Schizoaffective Disorder. Also, Archives
December 2023
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